My Weird School Daze #10 Miss Mary Is Scary! Dan Gutman Pictures by Jim Paillot To Emma Contents 1 A Ghost in the Bathroom 2 The New Student Teacher 3 Miss Mary Is Weird 4 Bog Snorkeling and Cheese Rolling 5 Learning More About England 6 Vampires Are Cute 7 I Love Dirt 8 Zack’s Big Nose 9 Cantaloupe 10 Talking Turkey 11 Halloween 12 A Bathroom Emergency About the Author and Illustrator Credits Copyright About the Publisher 1 A Ghost in the Bathroom My name is A.J. and I hate school. It was a couple of weeks before Halloween, which is the coolest holiday of the year. We get to wear our costumes to school on Halloween and have a big candy party. At the end of the day we parade around the block with all the parents watching. Marching in a parade is way better than watching a parade, because you don’t have to stand in one place for a million hundred hours. “Hang up your coats in the cloakroom,” said my teacher, Mr. Granite, who is from another planet. What a weird name for a room: “cloakroom.” Who wears a cloak? I don’t even know what a cloak is. After we finished circle time and Word of the Day, Mr. Granite told us to take out our math books and turn to page twenty-three. “Can I go to the bathroom?” I asked. “Do you really need to, A.J.?” said Mr. Granite. “Yes!” I didn’t really need to go to the bathroom. Sometimes I go to the bathroom even though I don’t have to. Like when Mr. Granite is teaching math. I hate math. Math is the perfect time to go to the bathroom. “Arlo doesn’t need to go to the bathroom,” said Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair. She calls me by my real name because she knows I don’t like it. “I do too.” “Do not.” We went back and forth like that for a while. But the teachers have to let you go to the bathroom. It’s a law. If they don’t let you go to the bathroom, they have to go to jail. “Go ahead, A.J.,” Mr. Granite grumbled. “The boys’ bathroom is haunted, y’know,” whispered my friend Ryan. “I heard there’s a ghost in th