eird School Daze #4 W y M Pictures by Dan Gutman Jim Paillot For Emma Contents 1 The Thing I Love 1 2 Coach Hyatt Is Mean 9 3 Cheerleaders Who Throw Up 16 4 Weird Training Methods 24 5 Dancing in the End Zone 31 6 Rufus the Doofus 42 7 The Sharks 50 8 The First Half 58 9 Halftime 66 10 Our Secret Weapon 74 11 The Moose Goes Nuts 79 12 The Secret Play 88 13 UFM* 97 About the Author and the Illustrator Credits Cover Copyright About the Publisher 1 The Thing I Love My name is A.J. and I love school. Going to school is just so much fun! I wish we could go to school at night. I wish we could go to school on the weekend. I wish we never had vacations. Just kidding! I hate school! Do you know what I would rather do than go to school? I 1 would rather eat a dead-bug sandwich. No, I would rather eat a live-bug sandwich. That would be even worse than a deadbug sandwich, because the bugs would still be moving around in the sandwich while I was eating it. Ugh, disgusting! But even more disgusting than eating a livebug sandwich is going to school. I don’t hate everything , you know. Some stuff I love. Like video games. And skateboarding. And trick biking. I’ll tell you the one thing that I really love more than anything in the world. And it’s not Andrea Young, this annoying girl in my class with curly brown hair. I love Pee Wee Football. 2 In the fall I play football every Saturday. Football is cool because you get to push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts. And the best part is, you don’t even get punished! At school, if you push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts, you have to go to the principal’s office. But in football you’re supposed to push and shove and yell and knock kids on their butts. That’s why I hate school and love Pee Wee Football. If you ask me, the world would be a better place if they closed all the schools and turned them into Pee Wee Football camps. The only problem is, my team stinks! 3 We’