i rd School #7 My We Dan Gutman Pictures by Jim Paillot To Emma Contents 1 I Was a Genius! 1 2 Mrs. Cooney Is Loony! 11 3 My Big Decision 21 4 The Last Straw 28 5 Checking for Headlights 37 6 Ryan and Michael Go to the Nurse 43 7 The Truth About Mrs. Cooney 51 8 Spying on a Spy 61 9 Vowel Movements and the Third Degree 67 10 I Thought She Was Gonna Die 75 11 The Stakeout 82 12 Good-bye to Mrs. Cooney 97 About the Author and the Illustrator Credits Cover Copyright About the Publisher 1 1 I Was a Genius! My name is A.J. and I hate school. The worst part about second grade is math. I don’t get it. If we have calculators, why do we need to learn math? That’s like walking to school when you could ride your bike. It makes no sense, if you ask me. “Who can tell me what two times ten 1 equals?” asked my teacher, Miss Daisy. A few kids raised their hands. I didn’t. Miss Daisy called on this crybaby girl Emily, who has red hair. “Miss Daisy, I don’t feel very well,” Emily said. “Can I go to the nurse’s office?” “Rest your head on your desk for a few minutes, Emily,” said Miss Daisy. “If you don’t feel better, you can go see Mrs. Cooney.” Emily put her head on her desk. “Now who can tell me what two times ten equals?” Miss Daisy asked again. “A.J.?” I had no idea what two times ten 2 equalled. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I had to think fast. I knew that two plus two is four. And I knew that two times two is also four. So I knew that addition and multiplication were pretty much the same thing. I also knew that two plus ten equals twelve. So two times ten must equal twelve too. “Twelve?” I guessed. “Sorry, A.J.,” said Miss Daisy. “Oooh, I know!” said Andrea Young, this really annoying girl with curly brown hair. She was waving her hand back and forth like it was on fire. “Call on me, Miss 3 Daisy. Please?” Andrea thinks she knows everything. I wish I could punch her. But nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her, because