eird School Daze # 1 My W Dan Gutman Pictures by Jim Paillot To Emma Contents 1 The New PTA President 1 2 Ryan’s Mom Is Weird 8 3 The Good Old Days 17 4 Everybody Loves Bonbons 25 5 Getting Ready for the Big Day 34 6 The Greatest Day of My Life 43 7 Why Is There a Square on My Head? 52 8 Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah 63 9 Mrs. Dole Goes Overboard 70 10 Throwing Up 82 11 Passing Out and Making Out 92 12 The Perfect Baby Name 98 About the Authors Credits Cover Copyright About the Publisher 1 The New PTA President My name is A.J. and I hate school. But you know what? Soon I won’t have to go to school anymore for a long time. You know why? Because today is the first day of June! Yay! June is the best month of the year because it’s when summer starts! Yippee! 1 No school until September! Me and the guys were putting our backpacks into our cubbies. It was Michael who started singing the best song in the history of the world. “No more pencils!” sang Michael, who never ties his shoes. “No more books!” sang Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn’t food. “No more teachers’!” sang Neil, who we call Neil the nude kid even though he wears clothes. “Dirty looks!” I sang. That’s when Andrea came in. She is an annoying girl with curly brown hair who loves school. Andrea had on her mean face. 2 “Hey Andrea!” I said. “What’s with the mean face? Are you mad because school is almost over?” “No, Arlo,” said Andrea, who calls me by my real name because she knows I don’t like it. “That’s not why I’m mad. Did you hear about the PTA election last night?”* “No.” “My mother was running for president,” Andrea said, “but she came in second. So she has to be vice president again.” “Big deal,” I told Andrea. “If the president *PTA stands for Parents who Talk A lot. 3 gets assassinated, then your mom will become president.” “Nobody assassinates PTA presidents, Arlo!” Andrea said, rolling her eyes. “They do too!” I told her. “Do not!” “Do too!” We went back